Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series Read online

  “I see. Why only half, Mr. Mitchell?”

  “Well, I needed money to go back and forth to school and work. My parents were only willing to do so much. When I told them of Karima’s impending birth, they told me that since I wanted to do things a man does, they were going to treat me as a man and limit my resources from them. They cut off all financial support and I was completely dependent on my wages.”

  “I see. Are you educated, Mr. Mitchell?”

  “Somewhat.”

  “Somewhat again? What does somewhat mean this time?”

  “It means that I am a high school graduate and am entering my last year of college in the fall. I’m paying for it on my own while maintaining a full-time job. I am nowhere near destitute, and as long as there is music, I never will be and can more than afford to provide my daughter with anything she needs. Yes, my time with my daughter has dwindled, but that’s what happens when someone is in school, working full-time and is only met with confusion, idiocy and resentment when trying to visit his daughter.”

  “Then why is my client pursuing this case?”

  “Because she’s angry that she can’t have me back.”

  “Why do you think she wants you back, Mr. Mitchell?”

  “I’ve become successful and it appeals to her. She wants in the spotlight, and I don’t have the stomach to put up with her as a mate. I feel it’s best we go our separate ways and raise our daughter in separate homes.”

  “And her fiancé?”

  “What about him?”

  “Mr. Mitchell, are you bothered by who Ms. McCoy’s engaged to?”

  “Only in the sense that I think he could do better.”

  “Mr. Gonzalez, please…”

  “Mr. Mitchell, please refrain from insults and innuendos or I will be forced to close this out and recommend a trial.”

  “Fine, Mr. Gonzalez.”

  “As far as your romantic feelings, Mr. Mitchell, are you interested in Ms. McCoy?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Ms. McCoy thinks you are and that you agreed to termination until you learned of her engagement.”

  “That’s not true. Once I found out how our daughter was conceived, I ceased to have any feelings for Ms. McCoy, but I will love my daughter until my dying breath, despite how I feel about Ms. McCoy.”

  “And when did you find out how your daughter was conceived?”

  “When Karima was about four months old.”

  “Let’s hear your version first, Mr. Mitchell. You may begin your statement.”

  “No problem, Mr. Gonzalez.”

  Chapter Three

  Disclosures

  “I don’t love her and I never did. She was hot. Cocoa skin, big round ass…sorry…she was so fine, and all the boys wanted her, but I said the magic word, and no offense to anyone, but I’m going to say this as I remember it, foul language and all.”

  “I guess that’s fine, but be careful, Mr. Mitchell.”

  “Of course, Mr. Gonzalez. This is how I remember it: my boys and I were supposed to be going to the gym, just hanging out before Red, rather Jaxen, had to start work.”

  “Dude, this is fucking boring,” Red griped. “What the hell are we waiting for?”

  “Shut up, Red. I’m showing you all this chick, and I’m saying this now—claim.”

  “Can he do that?” Stan shouted, “No, I don’t think he can. That’s not a rule, man!”

  “Fuck, I can and I just did. Look but don’t touch.”

  “Damn,” Mike uttered. “Claimed a skirt we ain’t even seen. Fucked up.”

  “Where the hell is she, Greg?” Red whined. “I have to be at the gym in fifteen minutes. I’m fucking late again and that’s it.”

  “I’ll get you in with the old man,” Mike nodded.

  “Fuck you,” Red laughed. “I’m not working in a funeral home. I don’t want to be at another funeral until I’m dead so none of you better die before me. I’ll fucking boycott all your funerals.”

  They all laughed, then she came out of her father’s cleaners.

  “That’s her. Right there.” I grinned, then nodded. “Red coat, white hat.”

  “Fuck, Greg.” Mike snorted. “That’s Vonda McCoy. She’s dating Reese.”

  “Reese who?”

  “Maurice Holmes. Senior.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit,” Mike confirmed. “There’s no way she’s letting a senior go for a sophomore. You claimed on nothing.”

  “We’ll see.” I smirked. “Claim.”

  “Right, we heard you.” Red nodded. “I need to get to work. Stop by and let me know what happened.”

  Red walked off. Stanley, Mike, Ren and me watched as Reese walked up to Vonda.

  “Damn, busted,” Mike murmured after Vonda and Reese started arguing. “He cheated. All that ass and he cheated. Dumb fuck.”

  “Chicks throw themselves at him,” Stanley argued. “Ass on Frisbees fifty times a day.”

  “At least,” Ren said behind me.

  I smirked. “Still think she won’t date a sophomore?”

  *sigh* “We dated for a few months, then shit started south. She became whiny and clingy and accusing me of everything left and right. I never did anything but work and workout when I wasn’t at school. I purposely stopped spending time with her just to avoid all the damn nagging. She loved to piss me off, then get naked to calm me down. Eventually, her nagging started reminding me of my mother, and that would turn me off. No one wants their lover to be anything like their parent.

  “I was a clerk in one of my dad’s grocery stores and had to work weekends from eight a.m. until four. There are never any hot girls at eight a.m. on a weekend morning in a supermarket, but Vonda always accused me of hooking up with a chick or two there.

  “Red was working at the gym, and started building muscle. The rest of us wanted that look, so Red showed us what he was doing. About six months after Vonda and I got together, we all looked like we’d been working out for years, and Vonda didn’t like it one bit. She also hated every member in the band and tried like hell to keep us apart, unless we were getting high.

  “Vonda could hold her liquor and was a good source for weed. Toward the end of our relationship, she and I were fighting in her room, really screaming at one another. The band was getting together to write a few songs and hang out, but she didn’t want me to go. She wanted us to spend time together, alone. I texted and told the guys I’d be late, thinking she and I needed to try harder to make this work. We got high and fucked all afternoon.

  “A few weeks later, she told me she was pregnant. I was sixteen, about a month from seventeen. She had turned seventeen two months before. My boys kicked my ass, all four of them. And so did my three older sisters. We’d used condoms, I told them all, and didn’t know how she got pregnant. I was nowhere near ready to be a father, but I had made a child. I was not going to walk away. That is not the person my parents made.

  “Vonda had a rough pregnancy, and toward the end, she was on bed rest. I took a leave and helped as much as I could. When Karima came, I was there and I cut the cord. I was only seventeen and had no plans for my life outside of bulking up and doing shit with the band. Some way, I became the leader and made all the decisions and booked our gigs, and the guys gave me a ten percent hike because of it. By then, sixty percent of what I made went to Vonda and Karima.

  “When Karima was three weeks old, I knew I didn’t want to be with her mother anymore. Maybe I was wrong for it, but I held off telling Ms. McCoy until she was healed from giving birth, which her doctor said would be around six to eight weeks. Vonda got her figure back in that time and was ready to start screwing again. I guess her thinking we were still a couple was my fault since I was at her parents’ home damn near every spare moment I had. I wanted my daughter to know me, and I did everything I could to show that I was no longer interested in a relationship with Vonda.

  “I finally told Ms. McCoy that I didn’t want to be with her anymore, and
she did not take it well. First, she tried to keep Karima from me, but luckily for me, her parents still had influence over her and stopped her from doing it. We worked out a schedule with Karima, and I had her at my parents’ home when I didn’t have a gig to play, usually Sundays and Mondays.

  “During this time, I found out how Karima was conceived. Vonda’s mother, Nina, told me after she heard Vonda confessing to a cousin that she poked holes through the condoms. Vonda and I had a huge fight and I told her that she would never dangle Karima in my face again. I felt Vonda used me to get her baby, and I stupidly made myself available for her. I vowed I would never put up with her shit again.

  “As Karima grew, so did Vonda’s angst. She said she wouldn’t give up on us ever, and I basically had to put my life on hold because of her idiotic behavior. She ran off woman after woman, often on first dates. As soon as she succeeded, there she was, coming at me like she knew I would turn to her and take care of my needs with her body. I’ll admit in the beginning, that’s exactly what I did. Of course I had sense to provide my own condoms, mainly because I made a pact with the band to do just that after I told them what Vonda had done with the condoms. We vowed to buy them and keep them in Mike’s trunk, since he was the only one with a car at that time. After that, it just became habit to do so, so we kept that up even when we all had vehicles.

  “So I stopped sleeping with her and finally got through to her that I didn’t want her. She kept up with the date invasions, and I stopped trying for a while. I didn’t date or show any interest in anyone. I rarely do now, even though Vonda’s engaged, because I have a feeling she’d try something again.”

  “I see. So, I’m hearing that you’ve basically put your personal life on hold while still caring for your daughter.”

  “Yes, Mr. Gonzalez. That’s exactly what happened.”

  “All right. Thank you, Mr. Mitchell. Let’s adjourn for the day. Save and end, Miss Wren.”

  Chapter Four

  Hardly

  “Whew.” I sighed and looked around, surprised to see it was already five. I massaged my fingers and stood after I saved my work and shut the computer down.

  “You were flying, Cass,” Trista laughed. “That had to be quite a gabfest.”

  I nodded. “It was, and I don’t think it’s anywhere near over.”

  “Anyone up for a night out?” Callie asked. “I know it’s only Wednesday, but I’m in need of a drink or two. There’s a bar near here and should be filled since it’s happy hour.”

  I thought on it as Trista declined and Alannah agreed.

  “Happy hour?” Walden snorted. “That just screams heteros, boo-boo. I’ll pass, too.”

  “Cass?” Alannah called. “What about you?”

  I thought about what I had to do. Stop at a fast food place or at a store and carry tonight’s groceries for dinner home on the bus. Ed still had primary use of our car, and he was going to be working until seven. Tough choice. I smirked. Mr. R’s chicken it was that night.

  “Sure,” I smiled. “I need something to make me unwind. You’ve got me until six, then I need to hop a bus and stop for dinner.”

  “No.” Callie smiled. “That’s too early. Where do you stay, Cass?”

  “Hampton Central Apartments on Euclid.”

  Alannah grinned, then turned me to her. “Which units?”

  “Two bedroom, building C.” I nod. “C-202.”

  “No shit?” Alannah laughed. “I’m in a one bedroom in building A! A-106! Don’t you just love the Masons? And their boys, all so nice and polite.”

  “I haven’t met their kids.” I smiled back. “But yes, the Masons are so nice and amenable. I couldn’t believe they brought my boyfriend and me dinner the first month we were there.”

  “How long did you get the free rent?” Alannah grinned. “I pulled two.”

  I laughed. “So did I!”

  “I think they all say two,” Alannah laughed.

  “They give you free rent?” Callie frowned.

  “When you pay the first month’s rent,” I grinned. “They have you pull from a bag of numbers. Whatever the number is, that’s how much free rent you get within the first year of living there. After that, you get December free. Every year, as long as you’re current on your rent from the year before.”

  A big chunk of our savings from Iowa and New York went to paying off our rent for two years. That was the only thing Ed insisted we splurge on, and I had to agree with his logic. We didn’t know when we would get steady work and we didn’t want to worry about the roof over our heads. Plus, his computer equipment was in the second bedroom and he had plenty of it. He’s a web designer and he was starting to make a name for himself, so he needed the space and security. For paying so far in advance, we got more free months. We didn’t have to pay rent again for thirty months.

  “What?” Walden screeched. “Why have I not heard this before?”

  Alannah smirked. “Because they are always full, and besides, I don’t want you anywhere near me, Walden. My grandmother lived there my entire life, and when she died, I moved into her one-bedroom. How did you get in, Cass?”

  “I’ve been on the waiting list forever, thanks to my father, just in case we wanted to come back here, and when they called, Ed and I were in New York. We grabbed our savings and drove here a week later. I was born in Hampton and moved to Iowa when I was ten, then in New York for about two years.”

  They silently nodded, knowing my history. No one brought up my mother’s death, and I’m loathe to discuss it.

  Walden snorted. “So you’re telling me that in all three buildings there are no empty apartments in any of them?”

  “Not that I know of.” Alannah sighed. “If so, I hope it’s in building B or C.”

  “Why are you wishing him on me?” I screeched, grabbing my purse. I followed them to the elevator, scowling. “I hope one opens on your floor!”

  “Ooh! Just for that, Cass,” Alannah snarled, “just for that you…you… Ugh! Damn it! I’ll think of something so be on your guard!”

  We laughed as the elevator whisked us down then stopped on eight. Two men stepped into the car, and I frowned. Every hair on the back of my neck was at attention. I shook it off.

  “I know.” Alannah clapped. “I’m driving you home; that way I can keep you out as long as I want.”

  “No, Lala,” I sighed as I rubbed the saluting hairs on my neck. “Eight at the latest, and you have to stop and let me grab dinner.”

  “Fine,” Alannah sighed, then giggled. “But this is not over.”

  * * *

  Walden decided at the last minute to join us and we all had a good time at the bar. He was wrong. There were a few gay men there and Walden was in heaven.

  Alannah and I took off at eight, and stopped at Mr. R.’s. As we waited for our orders, she said she was going the same way every day, and unless she was on vacation, we could carpool, starting in the morning. I accepted after we agreed on an amount for my part of the gas to and from work.

  She dropped me in front of my building, and I skipped inside, grinning ear to ear and bursting to tell Ed he’d have an extra hour of sleep every day now.

  I saw our car when Alannah pulled up at my building, so I knew Eddie was home. I found him in the kitchen, looking freshly showered as he searched through our cabinets. He smiled gratefully when I held up the chicken meal he’d come to love. He crossed the floor fast then kissed me quickly as he took the bag from me.

  “I love you,” Ed moaned.

  “Was that for me or the chicken?”

  “Ask me again after I’ve eaten,” Ed laughed then kissed me again.

  I shook my head and grabbed us forks and sodas. “I have news,” I said as I sat next to him on the couch. He flicked on the TV then found something we could watch together and enjoy as we ate.

  “Yeah?” Ed asked, then took a big bite from a breast. “What?”

  “Ed! That is so disgusting! Please don’t talk and chew!”

 
; Ed laughed and swallowed, then picked up his fork, ready to start in on his fried corn and mashed potatoes.

  “I keep forgetting, honey. What’s the news?”

  “You remember me talking about my co-worker Alannah?”

  “Yeah.” Ed nodded. “Alannah, or Lala, is the amateur chef with the friend that sends the kick-ass desserts, Callie is the office DJ, Trista is the older lady that keeps your break room stocked and there’s Walden, the token queen, as you call him.”

  I smiled. He does listen sometimes.

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “Well, turns out she lives in the A building here. I now have a new ride back and forth and you have an extra hour of sleep every day.”

  Ed frowned as he turned to me. “That’s an hour less a day I get to see you, honey.”

  I frowned back in complete confusion. “You like getting up earlier than you need to and arriving at work so early?”

  “Well, yeah.” Ed scowled. “I hardly see you since I got that job. I like that we leave out together and it sucks that I get in so late and you’re tired from working and cooking. Then you clean the kitchen and I’m nodding out. This life is exhausting us and we don’t see each other.”

  Funny how it never occurred to him that he should clean the kitchen. Help me, at least. He sure as hell wouldn’t cook so he could at least help me clean.

  “What do you want me to do, Ed?” I sighed. “Quit my job after only a few weeks?”

  He sighed. “No, but something has to give.”

  “What? The only thing I see is your overtime, but I know that’s not going to happen. So what’s going to give?”

  “The overtime,” Ed said quickly. “I’ll miss the money, but I already miss you, and you are more important than anything to me.”

  I smiled, then grinned. This had to be a turnaround for us so I’ll compromise.

  “How about this: you’re supposed to do nine to five, but you do nine to seven, giving you ten hours in overtime a week. What if you do only one hour a day of the overtime and do the seven to twelve Saturday shift? There’s your ten hours back, and our hour that we’ll be missing by Alannah taking me to work will come back on the weekends.”