Despair: Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

  DESPAIR

  Book Two of the Negative Ion Series

  Ryanne Anthony

  ©2014 Ryanne Anthony

  All Rights Reserved

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Please note this is a work of fiction and any similarities in situations and/or names are completely coincidental and unintentional.

  For Mark.

  Always.

  Even if he did just tick me off.

  I love him.

  Always.

  He’s so good at it…

  Yasmine Beausejour, merci… that is the extent of my French.

  Table of Contents

  One Welcome Back

  Two Friends, Old and New

  Three Disclosures

  Four Hardly

  Five New Prospects

  Six Love in an Elevator

  Seven You Again

  Eight The Best Kind of Buddy

  Nine He’s on First

  Ten I Just Can’t…

  Eleven Time Flying… Not

  Twelve Again… yes!

  Thirteen I Have No Idea

  Fourteen Crash

  Fifteen The Truth Is…

  Sixteen Aunt Raquel and Friends

  Seventeen On the Wings of Love

  Eighteen Clearing the Air

  Nineteen My Wedding Day

  Twenty Damn

  Twenty-One Four Years…

  About the Author

  Excerpt:FELL

  Chapter One

  Welcome Back

  YEP, DID IT AGAIN. On the job thirteen days and I’ve been late for nine of them. This time, it was not my fault. I think. Maybe. Damn, I really don’t know. Maybe if I express myself here, I can figure it out. Here’s what happened… um… well, let’s start with this:

  I started a new job with Forrest and Associates. It’s a law firm, but I was hired as a typist, which is fine. I needed the money and I don’t mind typing.

  I’m from Des Moines, Iowa, and came to California to sing. Well, first I went to New York, but Broadway was not good to me, at all. I was usually a singer behind the heifer they chose. Always. I swear it. Usually I heard, ’Thanks, we’ve just made our choice.’ Or my absolute fave, ’Sorry, but another girl sings one octave higher than you.’

  Story of my life—second damn place all the damn time.

  So after a year in N.Y., I moved to California and landed back in Hampton, just outside Los Angeles, where my luck sort of changed, partly because of my dad’s genius thinking. He wait-listed him and myself on an ace apartment complex. When the call came, I ran.

  Once settled, I became a back-up vocalist at Main House Music for big name artists, and my voice could be heard on some of the most popular songs on the radio. It was perfect for me; my goal was not to become famous. Not on a global level, anyway. I wanted… I wanted to have a career where I could support myself, excel and be happy. I can sing very well and I’ve been able to since I was in kindergarten.

  My mother was a singer and she taught me how to use my voice. She sang back-up, too, and my dad said she loved it. She died when I was eight. Some girl was aiming a gun at her boyfriend and hit my mother, who walked into the situation without paying attention. She was dead before she hit the ground, they say. My dad was devastated by her death and moved us to Iowa, where he and Mom were from, when I was ten.

  Dad died about four years ago, exactly nine days before my nineteenth birthday. Cancer. He smoked since he was fifteen. Damn him and cigarettes.

  I still miss him, so much.

  When my mother died, it was investigated by this awesome policewoman who told my father if he ever needed anything, let her know and she would try to help. I never forgot her name, and as soon as I settled at Main House, I contacted her. How surprised was I that she was now the captain of the Hampton Police Department? She was on leave, I was told, but I made an appointment.

  Damn if I didn’t have that appointment on her first day back; a day that she was in the foulest mood.

  “I’ve been gone for eight months and come back to this? Who the hell was running this squad in my absence? An attention-deficit octopus? What the hell is all this paperwork doing on my desk? My got-damn twins are better organizers than the fool who sat behind this fucking desk! I asked a question! Who was interim while I was gone, Cathy?”

  A nervous-looking woman answered, “Captain Kessler…I mean Forrest…Captain Forrest, it was Lieutenant Wilder, ma’am, but—”

  Captain Forrest scowled, shouting, “Lieutenant Wilder! My office! Now!”

  “What do you want, Shauna,” a burly man with dreads shouted back. “Don’t address me like we still fuck. I’ll talk to you later; I’m going on patrol now.”

  The whole squad room went quiet. I gripped my purse tight and watched, wishing I had popcorn when I saw the look on the captain’s face.

  “Marvin,” the captain said with a much too sweet tone while walking toward him. “You lost the right to address me as Shauna the day your limp-dick ass decided I was no longer fuckable after I got the captain’s position and you didn’t. Like everyone else here, no matter how you feel about me, you will address as Captain Forrest. Do we understand each other, Wilder? Before you answer, keep in mind that you just demeaned and disrespected your superior in front of dozens of witnesses. And while you’re mulling it over, remember, if you choose to leave, when you transfer, you will lose all your tenure and stripes.”

  The lieutenant’s eyes narrowed and he literally started snarling.

  “You did not have to put our business out there like that!”

  “I didn’t, you did.” The captain pointed at him. “You want to act like this, then so will I. I have no time for your shit. I have a daughter in pain, a grandson who may never know his father and a group of boys who keep getting arrested every two days for public intoxication because their brother is presumed dead. Not to mention my twins are still begging for my tits and refusing to use bottles. What’s it going to be, Marvin? Do I have to do the paperwork you left on my desk plus the necessary ones to have your ass transferred out of here, on top of all the other shit I have going on?”

  Marvin glared at the captain. Tired of waiting for his answer, she took a step forward with a look. I mean… it was… brutal. It commanded respect, and she got it.

  With an angry curse, Marvin stalked off to the captain’s office. He came out a few minutes later with a stack of papers and sat at a desk near me, grumbling incoherently. The captain slammed her office door, and the squad quietly went back to work. Almost every one of them stopped by Marvin’s desk and offered him some form of sympathy.

  “The captain can be brutal,” one officer said. “Can’t say you didn’t deserve it, though, Marv.”

  “You should have kept her, man,” another chuckled. “I would’ve. Sure she’s the boss at work, but I’d show her who’s boss at home… especially in bed.”

  A few laughed. I rolled my eyes.

  “Yeah, I fucked up,” Marvin mumbled. “Now she’s married to some fucker from her past.”

  The last guy slapped his shoulder. “You could easily find out who he is and harass him, Marv. Toss him a ticket or two.”

  “Are you insane,” another officer stage whispered. “And have her find out? You think she was brutal then? Harass her husband and see what she is. Nope, I’d chalk this up to loss and bang a meter maid.”

  I shook my head and tuned them out while I watched the woman who seated me knock on the captain’s door. I immediately tensed and wanted to run. She was in a bad mood now and no way would she want to talk to me, whether I had an appointment or not. I was just about to stand and
call the woman over to tell her ‘never mind’ when she walked inside the captain’s office. My stomach flipped. I started to sweat and prayed I remembered my Secret.

  As I sat there going over my morning routine, just as I was about to get to the point where I usually applied my deodorant, the captain’s door opened. The assistant stepped out, then waved me over. I made it to the door, feeling every eye on me. I could feel the sympathy and the ‘she’s dead’ vibe. I swallowed, went in, and stood rigid when the door closed behind me.

  “Cassidy,” Captain Kessler exclaimed as she smiled.

  I blinked. Smiling? Chipper? Whoa. She is a little bit scary.

  “It’s good to see you again, Captain Kessler. Congratulations on your position.”

  She walked over to me grinning as she said, “It’s ‘Forrest’ now, but what’s with this formality, sweetie? You better give me a hug!”

  I did, as rigid as I was.

  “Relax,” the captain laughed as she pulled back. “Maybe it would help if you called me Shauna, Cassidy. Or Shay. I swear I won’t bite unless you leave me a ton of paperwork after a very hard and haggard maternity leave.”

  I laughed and relaxed. I hugged her like I did the last time I saw her.

  “There,” Captain said as she pulled back again. “Much better. Let me look at you. Talk to me while I marvel at how grown you are now. Last time I saw you, you were ten, I believe, and moving to Iowa.”

  I smiled. “Yes, we moved back to Iowa a week after my tenth birthday.”

  “How old are you now?”

  “I’m twenty-four, ma’am.” I smile. “Last February.”

  “My daughter will be twenty-four in September. The fourteenth. And I’m a grandmother now. I have a five-month-old grandson and my twins are seven-months-old.”

  “Wow.”

  I grinned when she showed me pictures of the three most beautiful looking babies I’d ever seen. All of them were juicy, had chubby cheeks and were grinning at the camera. I swear I could smell that sweet baby scent through the pictures.

  I don’t know why, but I knew I wanted babies when I was twelve, and seeing these sweet faces only made the ache worse.

  “They are all too adorable. What’s their names?”

  “My twins are Samona and Samuel III. My grandson’s name is Jaxen II.”

  I grinned as I look up and raised a brow.

  The captain laughed. “Momo, Samree and J.J.”

  I laughed. “So cute. I could just bite a huge plug from all of their faces.”

  “I know.” The captain sighed. “It’s my first day back and I’m missing all of their little faces. Trust me when I say that there will be no more overtime for me. Five o’clock hits, I am out of here and will try really, really hard not to turn on the sirens on my way home.”

  I laughed loudly and covered my mouth. The captain laughed with me and ushered me to a chair on the opposite side of her desk.

  “It really is good to see you again, Cassidy. How’s your father?”

  “He died, ma’am. Four years.”

  “Oh,” the captain sobered. “I had no idea. Was it a fight?”

  “Yeah,” I solemnly nodded. “Cancer. Cigarettes finally got him.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, Cassidy. He was a good man. I hated he had the pain of losing your mother.”

  “Thank you, ma’am. He tried coping with a bottle in his hand but I don’t think he ever got over her.”

  “No, I didn’t think he would have. His loss really was deep.” The captain sighed then smiled genuinely. “So what brings you to see me? What can I do for you?”

  “I wanted to see you first. It’s been a long time.”

  “It has,” she laughed. “I still cannot believe how grown you are. I see you and my Kimber and I have no idea where the time went.”

  “Nor do I,” I chuckled. “Secondly, ma’am, I wanted to ask if you know of any job openings in the area.”

  She grinned again. “You’re living here, again?”

  “I am, ma’am. I have part-time work with Main House Music but I need something with steady hours to supplement my income.”

  “Well, that’s great.” She beamed. “What do you do for Main House?”

  “I’m a back-up vocalist, Captain Forrest,” I informed. “It pays okay but it’s not enough for me to maintain a decent residence and cover utilities and essentials. I need steady employment.”

  Captain Forrest nodded then frowned. “I will not ask you to call me Shauna or Shay again, Cassidy.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Shay.”

  I got another smile. “So a job, huh? Hmm. How about this: my husband may have something open in his firm. He’s a lawyer and his firm moved to the area about a year ago. He also has an office in the Santa Monica area as well. I’ll give him a call.”

  I walked over to look out the window, attempting to give her some privacy as she spoke softly to her husband. Watching people go back and forth on this comfortable June day made me smile. I think I’ll be happy here, despite my past.

  “Yes, babe. Her name is Cassidy Wren and she sings back-up for Main House… She needs to supplement her income between sessions… Of course… I’m sure she’d be happy to interview for that… I’ll tell her. I’ll send—”

  I frowned at her cutoff and turned. Captain Forrest frowned at the phone.

  “Sam! I’m so going to kill you! That is not fair,” she shouted. “Don’t even try it… I can hear that! All of it.”

  I slowly sat as her face began to match the color of her auburn hair, her anger palpable.

  “I am going to rip you a new one when I see you, Samuel Ashton Forrest II! Cassidy will be there soon!”

  Captain Forrest slammed the phone down with force and banged the desk with her fist. Suddenly, she stood and grabbed her purse.

  “Cassidy, are you driving?”

  “No, ma’am.” I blinked. “I don’t have my own car, yet.”

  “I cannot believe him! Of all the fucking nerve… CATHY!”

  I jumped. What the hell did her husband do over the phone? Cathy silently entered the room, a perplexed look on her face.

  “Any emergencies, call my cell, Cathy,” she said, then stormed out of her office. “Let’s go!”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Cathy said right away then pushed me to the door. “If you’re supposed to be with her, you better move or she’ll leave you, sweetie. She’s not in the best of moods.”

  No shit, I thought. My feet moved on their own and I ran to catch up with her. She was getting into a squad car and gestured for me to get in. I did quickly, and as soon as I tightened my seatbelt, the sirens came on and she took off. A few minutes later, she drove into the parking lot of a building where they were stenciling a door.

  S. A. Forrest and Associates.

  I thought, ‘glad I wore my business clothes’—black casual pants, light gray blouse and black waist jacket—as we entered the building. I smooth down my brown hair, sure it was messed some kind of way since the captain had driven like a maniac and had me ready to crap my thong.

  “Follow me, Cassidy,” the captain ordered. I nodded and watched as she walked straight in, bypassing reception. “She’s with me,” was all she murmured, eyes straight ahead.

  “Ooh,” someone said. “What do you think Sam’s done now?”

  “No idea,” another murmured. “Think she’ll make him do a perp walk again? I do enjoy watching him being led out in cuffs.”

  Huh?

  “This has to be the ultimate foreplay,” another woman swooned. “Jealous!”

  We walked to an office. She didn’t bother to knock; she just barged in and glared. I blinked. All I saw was a gorgeous young woman with black hair sitting on the floor with three babies. There was a guy wearing a blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off some colorful tattoos, and black slacks, sitting crossed-legged on the floor also, across from the young woman.

  “I told you.” The raven-haired woman sighed and picked up the
little girl. “She’s later than I thought, but…”

  “Shay,” the tatted guy started. “Don’t—”

  “I should have known, Parker Meredith Forrest!”

  I stifled a giggle. Meredith? For a guy?

  Shauna turned to the woman. “And you promised me, Kimber Elizabeth Forrest! You’re both under arrest!”

  “For what now, Captain? What are the charges?” Kimber whined. “You know what? Never mind. I’m invoking my right to remain silent. Speak with my attorney.” She smirked, nodding toward Parker, then grinned at the baby in her hands. She bit at the baby’s neck, making the room fill with loud baby giggles. It sounded so adorable.

  “Samuel Ashton Forrest II! Get out here!”

  “Kitten, what is it now,” a man called from a half-opened door. He came into the room, putting on a white shirt. For an older guy, he was nicely built and looked a hell of a lot like the guy on the floor, only lighter. He quickly buttoned his shirt.

  “Do not ‘Kitten’ me! Why are they here?”

  “Kimber—”

  “Don’t even think about using her for this! I cannot believe… no, turn around. You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent--”

  “I know my rights, Shauna. I mean Captain Forrest.”

  “Listen to them anyway! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

  Samuel sighed and turned, putting his hands behind his back. The captain pushed him to the wall, cuffed then frisked him as she kept up his Miranda rights.

  “Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you, Mr. Forrest?”

  “Yeah,” Samuel sighed. “I am a lawyer, you know. Besides, it’s the fourth time this month you’ve arrested me, captain, and it’s not even the tenth, yet.”

  The Parker guy walked over to Samuel and the captain, where he stood with a smirk and crossed his arms. Damn, he was tall.

  “Captain Forrest, would you mind telling me what you are arresting Mr. Forrest for this time?”

  Captain Forrest smirked back. “Suspicion of kidnapping, reckless endangerment of a minor, custodial interference, malicious intent, depraved indifference and contributing.”